7 Halloween ideas for lazy people

Katja Fischer

22/10/2022

Translation: Jessica Johnson-Ferguson

Pictures: Katja Fischer

Are you the kind of adult who – unlike your kids – isn’t feeling mandated thrills one bit? I’m with you. Let me show you how to give your home a spooky Halloween atmosphere without spending much time or money.

Halloween really isn’t my thing. I don’t appreciate wearing fancy dress nor do I like ringing strangers’ doorbells with my kids to beg for stuff. I also dislike handing out sweets to wee masked extortionists. Let alone spending a small fortune on spooky pseudo fun.

And yet, I try hard not to be a killjoy. Just because mum doesn’t get a kick out of trick or treating doesn’t mean the whole family should be made to stop. So all I can do is keep calm and carry on. But with as little effort as possible. You feel me? If you do, you’ll enjoy my ideas list for low-key Halloween celebrations.

1. Halloween snacks – cheesy monsters and doughy fingers

Halloween snacks are like birthday cakes. Whether you’ve spent hours slaving away over an elaborate fondant creation or went for a simple classic – the kids don’t care. As long as the result is delicious and colourful. Witches fingers made from dough are kind of like the sponge cake of Halloween treats. All you need is your (ready-made) dough of choice. Puff pastry, cake pastry, shortcrust – it all works. Add a few almonds and a bit of jam. Done. What’s even easier to make is monster-faced cheese. You’ll need Babybel, googly eyes and a bit of imagination.

2. A (lychee) eye for a (lychee) eye

Blood-red punch will complete your spooky snacks. Red grape juice is perfect to get the look. Pop some blueberries in canned lychees and drown the slimy eyes in blood.

3. Useless knowledge about the tradition

Last year, while I was indulging in the local tradition of carving lanterns out of turnips with my children, they fired loads of questions at me. I was embarrassed to realise the following: although I’ve made at least 30 lanterns out turnips in my lifetime, I don’t know anything about the meaning.

My ignorance is unveiled again at Halloween. This year, I plan to do something about it and impress with fun facts and knowledge. After all, some of the facts you find online are really interesting. Did you know that...

• ...Halloween didn’t originate in the US, but in Ireland? Early Irish immigrants introduced the custom in the US and Canada in the 19th century.
• ...the word «Halloween» is a variation of the term «All Hallow’s Eve», which refers to the evening before the Catholic holiday All Saints’ Day (1 November)?
• ...Halloween is the holiday Americans spend the most money on after Christmas. (in 2017 they shelled out a whopping $9.1 billion on decorations, costumes, sweets etc.)?
• ...the world’s heaviest pumpkin weighed as much as a car, namely 1,190.5 kilos? Its grower was a Belgian man, who had the pumpkin weighed in the German town of Ludwigsburg in 2016. The fruit has since been immortalised in the Guinness Book of Records.
• ...«trick or treat» has only existed since the 1930s?
• ...there are over 800 pumpkin varieties in the world? Only 200 of which are edible.

4. Frightful Halloween jokes

Speaking of food: all those Halloween facts might be too hard to digest for the kids. So just in case, I want to internalise some cool Halloween jokes.

At least, that was the plan at first. But then the yield was absolutely abysmal. I’d still like to share some of them with you. After all, kids’ jokes, no matter how daft, are always fun.

• What does a vampire with no teeth do? Eat tomato soup.
• Two skeletons want to go to a disco. One of them turns back to get his tomb stone. The other one asks: «What are you doing with that thing?» – «They won’t let us in without ID.»
• Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween? It didn’t have a haunting license.
• Why did the ghost quit studying? Because he was too ghoul for school.
• Halloween’s over, you can take your mask off now.

5. Carving pumpkins minus the stress

There’s no way around the annual pumpkin carving afternoon any more. But now I’ve learned how to keep things chill instead of stressed with my daughters. With a carving set, templates and hairspray. In fact, I got the tutorial I wrote last year. The verdict? The hacks still work. And we’re proud of the result that will be sitting on our doorstep just in time for the week of Halloween.

6. Tangerines instead of pumpkins

If carving pumpkins is still too much, you can take things down a notch. Simply draw faces on tangerines using a black marker. Sounds uninspired but usually turns out totally cute. These citrus monsters also make for great babies next to pumpkins.

7. Scary home cinema

After all the trick or treating – or as an alternative in my case – it’s nice to kick back and watch a Halloween movie. However, scary movies can be a bit of a balancing act if you have small children. That’s why my three-year-old will have to miss out on the fun. For my six-year-old, on the other hand, I picked out some movies that fit the bill. You’ll also find some films for older kids in the following list.

• «Hotel Transylvania»: An animated film about a hotel owner called Dracula, who turns into a fretful father because his daughter has an admirer. Age 6+
• «Monster House»: Three friends explore an abandoned house shrouded in legend in this animated film. It leads a life of its own and has an appetite for humans. Age 6+
• «Casper»: Cult children’s movie about Kat and her father, the ghost therapist. The girl thinks believing in ghosts is nonsense until she meets one herself in her new home: Casper. Age 6+
• «The Nightmare before Christmas»: Jack Skellington is the highly regarded Pumpkin King in Halloween Town, which is populated by creepy creatures. But this year he longs for a change. The hustle and bustle in the parallel world of Christmas Town inspires him to give Christmas a try. Age 6+
• «Nightbooks»: This fantasy film’s about a horror fan who has to tell a scary story every night. Otherwise, he and his friend will be trapped in a witch’s magical apartment forever. Age 12+
• «The Addams Family 2»: The iconic and creepiest family in movie history takes a road trip across the USA. They take every opportunity to scare the normal people. Age 12+

By the way, this year’s Halloween falls on a convenient day. 31 October is a Monday. That means most people will bring their trick or treating forward to the weekend. Best to stock up on enough sweets in time, because the gangs of trick-or-treaters will probably be ringing on your doorbell as early as next Saturday.

Katja Fischer

Senior Editor

Katja.Fischer@digitecgalaxus.ch

Mom of Anna and Elsa, aperitif expert, group fitness fanatic, aspiring dancer and gossip lover. Often a multitasker and a person who wants it all, sometimes a chocolate chef and queen of the couch.

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