How my team turned me into a «brat boss»
22/8/2024
Translation: Katherine Martin
The «brat girl» look is in this summer, and I’ve become its latest fashion victim. Here’s how my team transformed me from a normie into a brat.
I know exactly why our Social Media Team picked me. It’s because I’m the one in our office with the most boring (or, as I’d prefer to call it, casual) look. My sneaker-jeans-shirt combos are about as exciting as spending Saturday night watching the news.
I’ve never been fashionable. I was probably off sick on the day my schoolmates were cutting holes in their jeans in the 90s. While the guys were piercing their ears, I was still wearing my old corduroy trousers. Highlighted hair, backwards baseball caps, you name it – all of it passed me by.
A table piled with odd-looking clothes
Now, I’m sure that maintaining a little seriousness hasn’t done my professional career any harm. For the next hour, however, that’s all about to change! Our two social media whizzes, Valentina and Davide, have slotted an appointment entitled «Boss goes brat» into my calendar. And now here I am, standing in front of a table full of odd-looking clothes and fashionable knick-knacks. «Fashionable knick-knacks», incidentally, probably isn’t a phrase you’ll ever hear come out of a brat’s mouth.
The makeover process is documented with an iPhone camera. It’s then turned into a stop-motion video, poised to battle it out for the three-second attention spans of users on the Galaxus TikTok channel. Fortunately, most of my colleagues are too old to use TikTok, so the risk of someone discovering my video and slagging me off about it is minimal.
Within half an hour, I’ve been transformed from corporate-square boss to brat boss. Until now, the closest I’ve ever come to a brat aesthetic has been firing up a bratwurst on the barbecue.
Needless to say, you wouldn’t catch me wearing such a billowy, loose-fitting T-shirt near a grill. Flapping around near a naked flame, this triple XL piece in slime green (the brat movement’s colour of choice) would almost certainly be a fire hazard. And those wide-leg trousers! «Baggy» is an understatement. You could get an extra leg in there. The length is adjusted to look suitably brat. Davide takes a pair of scissors to the denim, cutting off all the fabric below the knee. This way, the white tennis socks (shoutout to readers in Aargau!) can really come to the fore. After that, your gaze can’t help but fall on the Crocs. Crocs! Shoes I usually only see adorning the feet of a campsite manager known for running the place with an iron fist zeal. Still, at least mine have been pimped with Jibbitz – charms pinned into the Crocs’ ventilation holes.
Source: Davide Arizzoli
Source: Stephanie Vinzens
Bling for the hands and neck
Our resident brat experts assure me that jewellery’s a must. I usually only wear an Apple Watch and my wedding ring. Now, I’m sporting a hefty G-Shock on my wrist. In bright pink. And I have rings on my fingers that’d make an aristocratic family in financial trouble green with envy. Or did I somehow win the Super Bowl and forget about it?
I’m then decked out in chains, a fake piercing (a lip cuff, to be precise) on my lower lip, a cap and a pair of sunglasses. Admittedly, I actually wouldn’t mind keeping the shades after the shoot. They’re a lightweight Uvex pair made for jogging or cycling.
Wtf?!
The makeover takes slightly longer than planned, so I pitch up late for my next meeting. Since I haven’t had time to revert to corporate-square mode, I’m still very much in my brat era when I join the video call. The confused looks are my cue to explain both my unusual new look and my tardiness. Or should I just go full brat and tell the fam they’re pretty sus if they don’t think I’m slaying?
Have you checked out our TikTok yet? If not, go ahead and take a look. Alternatively, you can simply pity me right here in the comment section.
Martin Jungfer
Head of Content
Martin.Jungfer@digitecgalaxus.chJournalist since 1997. Stopovers in Franconia (or the Franken region), Lake Constance, Obwalden, Nidwalden and Zurich. Father since 2014. Expert in editorial organisation and motivation. Focus on sustainability, home office tools, beautiful things for the home, creative toys and sports equipment.