Buy a printer? I’d sooner resort to handwritten letters!

There are some devices that we’d love to have, but don’t really need. Then there are the devices that we need, but have absolutely no desire to own. If you ask me, printers fall into the second category.

They’re unreliable, error-prone, ugly brutes (article in German), which make a racket, take up loads of space and cover the place in dust and ink smudges. I won’t be allowing anything of the sort into my house.

For a long time, having a printer at work was enough for me. However, ever since I’ve been working primarily from home, there’s sometimes too much of a lag between needing to print something, and my next stint at the office. I’m not inclined to go in just for a piece of paper, either.

The solution, however, is right under my nose: a ballpoint pen.

Pens

Caran d'Ache Ecridor Chevron

Gold, 1 x

70

Pens

Caran d'Ache Ecridor Chevron

Gold, 1 x

70

Handwritten letter to the Staatskanzlei

It does feel kind of unusual to whip out a stalwart Caran d’Ache pen and start a letter to the Staatskanzlei or state chancellery: «To whom it may concern…» Handwritten love letters might be stylish, but a dry, businesslike letter? How am I supposed to make the subject line bold? I try using underlined capital letters. I’m a little embarrassed at this, but I’ve no choice but to follow through now.

I’ve grown unaccustomed to writing a letter by hand, so it’s a laborious process. Still, it works in the end. Like riding a bike, you never forget how to do it. Even so, I apologise for my scrawl at the end of the letter.

After all these years, there’s just one thing I’ve forgotten how to do: think first, then write. I’ve lost that particular knack due to the convenience of the Ctrl-Z and Delete keys. With this in mind, I type my letter into the computer first, making plenty of edits. Then I copy it «onto a clean page» – just like when we’d rewrite our corrected essays in primary school.

Who needs a mindfulness retreat anyway?

In many ways, a pen is the opposite of a printer. It barely takes up any space, it’s maintenance-free, it looks good and it doesn’t make any noise. It’s an inconspicuous object that doesn’t bother anyone. And after decades of working with a PC, I find it fascinating that I can create an entire document with such a simple device.

Most importantly, it’s the perfect tool if you want to make your life easier and have fewer problems:

• no paper jams
• no connection problems
• no malfunctioning drivers
• no absurdly confusing print menu
• no dirty photo conductor unit
• no upside-down text
• no realigning the print heads
• no dirty jets
• no smeared rollers
• no fear of a power outage
• no empty cartridges (Goliath ink refills last forever)
• if they ever do run out, they’re cheap to replace

It’s so relaxed. So easy. So reliable. So A-OK. If you use your hand to write, you’ll never have to take a meditation course.

The only downside? My pride

The writing process is less hassle than expected. The thing I actually have difficulty with is getting over myself. Will my pride allow me to be more backward than people who print off e-mails? Me? A tech writer no less?

It’s not just myself that I have to admit this to, but the recipient of the letter. They’ll literally be able to see in black and white that they’re dealing with someone who either hasn’t got wind of the technological changes of the last 50 years, doesn’t have their life under control or has some kind of problem.

But I suppose I’d get used to that. I need to come to terms with the fact that people increasingly see me as an old codger anyway – so this is good training.

By the way, as a tech writer, I still want to keep an open mind with regard to new technologies. With this in mind, I’ll be testing a typewriter soon.