Thermomix, we need to talk
It hasn’t even been a year since I bought myself a Thermomix. Having initially thought we were the perfect couple, I’m now faced with the bitter truth. The spark between us has fizzled out. It’s time to have that conversation nobody wants to have.
Therma, we need to talk.
I’ve thought long and hard about how to say this. It isn’t easy for me, as I’m sure you know. We’ve had some wonderful moments together. Remember that first time we cooked as a team? The thrill, the butterflies in my stomach (or the farfalle in your bowl) when you showed me what you could do? Remember how proudly I introduced you to my friends?
«This is Therma,» I said, «she’s just amazing!»
My friends nodded admiringly, some even with a hint of envy.
But something’s changed. Maybe it’s me. Maybe we were never meant to be together after all. I really wanted you to be the one. The one to save me – and my diet. I wanted you to make my life easier. We did have those sizzling-hot first few weeks of slowly sautéing «soffritto» with oil, onions and garlic. But the truth is, I can’t be with you in the way you deserve.
It’s not you, it’s me
You’re great. I do hope you know that. You’re precise, efficient and intelligent. You’ve never made a mistake (that major data leak wasn’t your fault). And you’ve never complained. You’ve always supported me. And yet...I’ve found myself ignoring you more and more often. Avoiding you, even. One day, you just sat there in silence as I put a frozen pizza in the oven. That wasn’t fair to you.
I guess we’ve grown apart.
Source: Luca Fontana
My friends saw this coming. They never said anything before, but now that I’ve made this decision, I keep hearing, «I knew you two wouldn’t last.» And I have to agree with them. Maybe I just wanted you for the wrong reasons. I thought you’d be the one to solve all my problems. But in the end, I still had to decide what I wanted to eat myself. Do the grocery shopping myself. Set you up myself. Do the dishes myself. Wash you myself. I was naive.
I hope you find someone who’ll appreciate you more than I did
You’ve got a big heart. Well, a big stainless steel mixing bowl if we’re being technical about it. I’m sure there’s someone out there who’ll love you in the way you deserve. Someone who’ll whip up wonderful meals with you, make use of your skills every day, respect you and honour you. Someone who won’t just see you as an expensive dust magnet.
I’m not that someone.
So go. Go and be happy with someone else. I’ll miss you. Especially your legendary, homemade fruit ice cream. You had me under your spell from the very start. You still do today. But sometimes, that’s not enough. It’d be selfish of me to keep you for that reason alone.
Take care, my kitchen heroine. I’ll think of you whenever I put a ready-made lasagne in the oven.
Yours in love gone cold, Luca
Header image: Luca Fontana
659 people like this article
Luca Fontana
Senior Editor
Luca.Fontana@digitecgalaxus.chI'm an outdoorsy guy and enjoy sports that push me to the limit – now that’s what I call comfort zone! But I'm also about curling up in an armchair with books about ugly intrigue and sinister kingkillers. Being an avid cinema-goer, I’ve been known to rave about film scores for hours on end. I’ve always wanted to say: «I am Groot.»
